Recycled Material

As I am currently jobless, my interactions with the public have greatly decreased. It's gone from random strangers knocking on my car window to the awkward hello in the elevator. I am afraid that all I have to tell are old stories that have already been told. Maybe, if I think really hard and challenge my brain, I can come up with some small glimpse into my boring reality I call my life instead of recycled material.

Lets see, okay, so on Sunday a friend of mine dropped me off at my house after a volunteer appreciation lunch. I opened the door and pressed the elevator button. To my surprise the door open almost instantly and what my eyes fell upon was a sight that made me wish I had chosen the stairs. As the elevator doors opened I was graced with the image of a couple going at it. Great! So here's awkward me standing there, internally killing myself laughing because their faces were so red and the tension in the elevator was so dense that I was wishing I lived on the first floor. On the other hand however, I was also wishing that the elevator would break down because that would be more awkward for them and a good story for you. The guy muttered something about how he wanted to drink a beer when they got back to their condo but I think that was just code for finishing what they started in the elevator.

My building isn't a very tall one, four floors - five if you include the parkade. So having said that, an elevator ride to the top from the bottom is only about 35 seconds. I am willing to go and time that if you need evidence. (I haven't left the condo in over 24 hours.) Not a whole lot of time.

I have never understood really why people fool around in the elevator... It's not a private place, unless it's your elevator in your house. I have actually never really understood the need for PDA in general. I mean, I get the hand holding kind of deal, and the simple kiss goodbye, but seeing you suck face in public makes me physically ill. Seeing your public displays of affection gives me intimate deals about you and your babe. I'd like to go with the don't ask, don't tell method. If I don't ask, you don't tell. I am not asking you what it looks like when you guys kiss, therefore don't tell me or show me. I am being straight up here: I DON'T CARE.

Married people, I am in no way talking to you. If you 90 something years old and been married for 90 years you, my friend, have earned the right to kiss your babe. If you're 20 and been married 1 year, congratulations, I am so happy for you. You sir, have earned the right to kiss your wife. If you have made a marital commitment to your significant other, KISS AWAY but if you're 16 and you and your boo who have been dating for 3 days and are so in love you're locking lips - GET OUT OF MY WAY. I will run you over with my car. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic but seriously save it for your living room, and not the bedroom either. You will end up on 16 and pregnant, and you will quite possibly wish I ran you over with my car.

Well, that about sums that up,
Happy Kissing... NOT!