#YourHashtagsSuck

Hashtags have recently become a huge part of our day to day life. If you don't know what a hashtag is, it's possible you have been living under a rock. A hashtag for those who do not know is a way of tagging your post so that when people search '#cutie' your post shows up.

Hashtagging started on Twitter and was a funny way of ending your tweet. I often will use hashtags on twitter as a form of comedy, with tags such as: #yesfilter #mugshotmonday and #homelessproblems. I find that the longer the hashtag the funnier it gets with posts like: #iwonderifitwillsurfacebeforethegumiswallowed6yearsago and #maybeiwillturnthefreezerintoapool.

Hashtags are funny and useful at times but on Instagram they are used to get likes, comments and followers. I have fallen victim to the hashtag overkill on a photo, but at least my hashtags suit the photo. I have seen girls photos that say #nomakeup but they look like a cake faced clown. #Kitten #pretty #cute on a picture of a watermelon.

Ya'll need to quit cause your hashtags SUCK.

Happy Hashtagging.

Remember, I am watching.

Not A Real Adult

I teach Sunday School at my church, Christian Life Assembly, every Sunday; over the weeks I have gotten to know most of the girls but every summer a new set of kids comes in from age five. This years crew brought an adorable six year old with some intense dating advice.
The conversation follows below. We will call her 'L' for little girl and I will be 'B' for big girl.

L: "You're not a real adult." She stated.
B: "What do you mean? I am the right age to be the adult." She replied.
L: "You're not an adult cause you are not married." She added.
B: "Oh." Silence followed.
L: "Do you even have a boyfriend?" She questioned.
B: "No......" a hint of sadness in my voice.
L: "Why not? You should get married today, you should just go up to someone and say, 'Hey, you wanna get married?!' Just go ask him over there. Marry that guy. Or you can marry my uncle. He hasn't gotten married yet. You should meet my uncle." She advised.
B: "Uh, it doesn't really work like that, unfortunately." I tried to reason with her.
L: "Yes, it does." and she ran away to play with her friends.

Since her little pep-talk I have been thinking, I am okay not being a real adult. I am going to build myself a blanket fort and hide out.

Happy Adulthood to me.
20 in 14.

The Second Wave

I was discussing with my friend 'arm fat' because I couldn't fit my "muscular" arms into a jacket I recently gave my sister. Her and I were laughing and joking about things such as clapping and waving when it dawned on my that my arms were were doing the "second wave". I used to joke about how my legs applauded my every time I ran because I could hear them clapping for me, and now my arms are waving for me. 

I am in no way talking down about myself, I am simply just saying I need to tone my arms a little bit so that my waves do not last longer than they should. 

The Five Senses

I recently took up running, but not like I took up being gluten free. I actually do go running. I've noticed, though, that all my senses are engaged when I run.

Touch/ Feel: I can feel my feet throbbing and my heart pounding with every step.

Sight: I can see that I am NOT running very fast and that my finish line is not even close but I also witness the weirdest things, like people walking cats and large teddy bears belted in to the front seat of a car.

Taste: I can taste the hot, thick air with every sharp breath I take.

Smell: I can smell chicken noodle soup? I run about a five kilometer section every time I go running and it's always the same. On two separate locations on two separate roads, I smell chicken noodle soup.

Hear: I hear laughter as people watch me drag my sweaty body up that menacing hill.

Every time I come home after a run I am never sure if I feel good or just more confused. At what point of attachment to your teddy bear do you feel the need to strap it in for fear of its fluff flying through the windshield. I sure hope you are wearing your seat belt. How often does your family eat chicken noodle soup, are you ill or do you just really love it? Must you actually laugh and point your chubby fingers full of McDonald's fries at me? I mean at least I'm trying to change. Never laugh at a runner, it will be those people you turn to in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse just sayin'.

Speaking of running, I neglected to run the last couple days so I am going to go do that.
Happy Running Friends.

Continuing Post

I just thought I would write a list of things that I absolutely cannot stand or fear and a list of things I love. That way, when you talk to me, hang out with me, or cross my path, you know what not to do and what to do. This lista will grow and shrink as I fear more things and conquer others.

The list of things I hate/fear are things that if you approach me with, I am not responsible for your injuries.
Things I hate and fear:
Feet
Clowns
Large Costumes
Spiders


The list of things I love, is a list of things that if you accidentally do something with the above list, you can apologize with.
Things I love:
Orchids
Chocolate
Fort Langley
Ice Cream
Children
Dancing
Laughter
Coffee
The Beach
Surfing
Black and white movies
Wine
Fancy Cars
Amusement Parks
Churros
Diamond Rings

As the list get bigger the gifts get more expensive. Let's hope, for your sake, that you don't cross me. You can only buy me so many coffees.

What are you afraid of?

Audios, my loves.

My Issues With Society

So I was thinking today, while I brushed my pearly whites, about how food is actually the worst thing ever. We basically are flushing money down the toilet. I then started contemplating the problems of the world and came up with a few problems and solutions.

Food- we need it to keep us alive, but we are charged money for it. I LOVE food, probably more than I should, but I do. So, it costs me a little bit more to eat. But why aren't certain foods free. I can understand fast food, because someone has to make it for us, but eggs? They come from animals. Our money doesn't go to the animals so who's making bank on collecting eggs? I loved collecting eggs as a child. Someone should do it as a hobby. How about we pay for the necessities by donation? Or the government gives us a weekly food allowance? The more I think about it, the more I understand that making bread is a chore, as is butter. But we have machines for that now. I think I'm going to have to buy a chicken, cow, pig and butter churn. Screw society I'm kicking it old school.

Clothes- If the law requires me to wear clothing, I suggest we get a monthly allowance for that too. The law is costing me money. Not fair! I could walk around naked and it would be free, but no. I have to pay money for clothes or pay money for a public nudity ticket.

Math- I have never in my life since graduating, needed to use the Pythagorean Theorem or needed to graph a triangle on a calculator; but I learned it. I didn't however learn what a mortgage is, or how to get one. I didn't learn about how to do my taxes; my mom still writes them for me.

I am kind of kidding. I do realize that there is a certain order of how the world works, but I just wish things were cheaper.

Funnier than the Movie

So I guess it was a couple weeks ago now, but I was just told about this today. We were watching Home Alone 3, a movie that I seriously miss judged. I thought that because it was with different characters and plot that it would be totally lame, but it wasn't. I was sitting in the living room of a small apartment with about 13 people in the room killing myself laughing and not thinking anything of it. I have a very distinct laugh. It's not only loud but it has this weird authenticity to it. When I laugh, I laugh hard. If something is funny to me it becomes funny to everyone else because I laugh so hard.

My mom thinks that it is hilarious how hard I laugh. She texts me and tells me how much she misses having the house full of laughter. I never really thought about it until today when my friend told me that they were watching me instead of the movie. Apparently my reaction to the movie was funnier than the actual movie. They say you learn something new everyday, I just never would have guessed it would be information about me.

If you guys want to come over and watch a funny movie with me, you're more than welcome.

Happy laughing, friends.

Enthusiastic Dancer

I am one of those people that cannot sit still when a good song comes on. If there is music playing I am moving. Be it wiggling in my seat, rocking back and forth or full on dancing in a room full of people who have never seen a girl move her hips before.

In my car, I am restricted by my seat belt and certain laws but that definitely does not stop me from getting my groove on while cruising down the highway. For all you parents out there whose children I drive around, let me be clear. I follow the rules of the road and if I have a passenger, I at most will get an enthusiastic fist pump going on. If I am alone however, there is some swaying, loud singing and serenading of fellow drivers. I often get looks that suggest people think I'm crazy, or the occasional fist pump or head nod of approval. 

In my home, where no one is watching or even sometimes when people are. I dance like no one is paying attention. I have been known to knock things over, turn the music up too loud or jump too high. I'm pretty sure people hate cooking with me in the kitchen because of two reasons. One, I can't really cook so I ruin my food and whatever they are making and two, they usually become my dancing partner. Whether they want to or not. If you're close enough to grab and dance with, you're it, baby! I have knocked things off the counter and dropped stuff. I usually make quite a mess when cooking and dancing. It's always a party though.

I would also like to point out that I'm not the most talented dancer in the world. If you picture a graceful butterfly floating in the wind, you need to stop. Picture more an awkward giraffe (ironically my favorite animal) tripping over a hippopotamus and tumbling down a hill. That is my dancing technique. Having said that, I understand why people don't generally like to dance with me. But hey, if you love the music and love to dance, why the heck not, right? If you like to try your hand at dancing you're welcome at my house any time. Music is always on and loud and there is zero judgement. 

Here's my current dancing jam: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y_KJAg8bHI

Happy Dancing. Hope you're more graceful than I. 

Facebook Creep

I know for a fact that I am not the only person that creeps my friend's and occasionally random people's pages on Facebook but how often do we creep our own. I recently found myself deep in the depths of a new friends Facebook analyzing how weird this person looked back in 2008 and then thought to myself how much weirder are my photos. So there I was elbows deep in my own page scrolling through the nine hundred  plus photos. I cannot even begin to describe to you the photos that I found. For your personal enjoyment, I have added a few. Keep in mind that I did at one point tell you that it is easier to find a million dollars under my bed than for me to take a good selfie. So here you are. My childhood wrapped up into some very awkward photos.





So there you are, friends. That's my Facebook in a nutshell.

Happy Creepin'.

Google Problems

So I do a lot of research in which I use Google, but in never does it ever just answer my question.

I am currently looking trying to find out if I can do nursing in Australia and then work in Canada. Most people I have talked to have said no, because I would have to take a bunch of tests. That's fine, but how many and how much would they cost. I am really excited about the idea of studying in Australia but cannot find the answers. So I do what any modern day citizen does, I hop on to the interweb and hope to find the answers but cannot.

I type into Google: 'Can I use my Australian Nursing Degree to work in Canada?' 

and what pops up is:

-Nursing Schools in Australia

-Canadian Nursing Schools 

-Nurse Together in Canada

and

-Nursing Degree in 24 Months

Um, what the beans? That doesn't me at all. I know that I could do school in either place but I want to know if they transfer over to a different country.

I mean, worst case scenario I just permanently move to Australia right?! That doesn't sound so bad. My dad would probably flip and lose his socks at the same time if he heard me even talk about vacationing there, but hey, a girls gotta live. I just wish Google answered my questions... Maybe I should try Yahoo - Just Kidding. That would be even worse. Things would pop up like 'News from the Ukraine' and I would get quite distracted as I have now. 

I have also been writing this in an Australian accent so that's fun. 

Happy Googling, mates.